Talking to Your Therapist About Embarrassing Topics: How to Get Past the Awkwardness

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Bringing up something deeply personal in therapy can feel intimidating. Maybe it’s something you’ve never told anyone, or maybe you’re afraid of how it will sound when you say it out loud. It’s completely understandable that you feel that way. Just remember—your therapist isn’t there to judge you. Their job is to create a space where you can be honest without fear of shame or embarrassment.

Why It Feels So Hard to Open Up

The Fear of Being Judged

Even though you know your therapist is a professional, that little voice in your head might still whisper, What if they think I’m weird? or What if they don’t understand? The truth? Therapists hear all kinds of things every day. What feels monumental and shameful to you is probably something they’ve worked with before. Moreover, therapists sought, trained and signed on for helping others with feelings and other difficult facets of our human experience. Even with something shocking and upsetting, they are there to help you work through those feelings or difficulties. 

Feeling Exposed

Sharing something deeply personal can feel like stepping out of your comfort zone without a safety net. But vulnerability in therapy isn’t a weakness—it’s the foundation of growth. That doesn’t mean you must dive right into the hardest stuff immediately. Sometimes, starting small helps build the trust you need to open up more over time.

Not Knowing Where to Start

You might not even know how to bring it up. Should you blurt it out? Ease into it? Write it down? The fear of saying it “wrong” can be enough to make you avoid it altogether. The good news? There’s no wrong way to start. Therapy includes conversation. It is not a test.

How to Bring Up Embarrassing Topics in Therapy

Say That It’s Hard to Talk About

If you don’t know where to begin, start with something simple like, “I have something on my mind, but it’s tough for me to talk about.” That alone signals to your therapist that you need support approaching the topic.

Write It Down First

For starters, if saying it out loud feels overwhelming, try writing it down—whether that means bringing a note, typing it on your phone, or even emailing it beforehand. Sometimes, seeing the words written out helps make them feel more manageable.

Start Small

You don’t have to share everything all at once. If it feels too big, start with a small part of it. Even saying, “There’s something I want to talk about, but I don’t know how to say it,” is enough to open the door.

Remember Why You’re There

Your therapist isn’t there to judge you. Their goal is to help you understand and process what you’re going through. If you ever feel dismissed or uncomfortable with their response, it might be good to talk about that directly with your therapist. Of course, any discomfort you may feel with a therapist’s response might mean they’re not the right fit for you—and that’s okay. Finding the right therapist is part of the process.

What Happens After You Share?

Feeling a Sense of Relief

Most people feel a huge sense of relief once they finally say what’s been weighing on them. Your therapist may respond with something like, “That makes a lot of sense,” or “I appreciate you trusting me with that.” And suddenly, what felt so overwhelming is understandable, addressable and might not seem as scary anymore.

Working Through It Together

Once you’ve shared, your therapist can help you unpack it. They might ask follow-up questions, offer perspective, or help you find ways to process it in a way that feels right for you. In trauma informed work, it might be lend itself to identifying and assessing some trauma material to process through EMDR. The important thing is that you’re not carrying it alone anymore.

Therapy Works Best When You’re Honest

Therapy isn’t about saying what you think your therapist wants to hear, it’s about being honest. The more honest you are, the more helpful therapy becomes. And if something feels too big to share right away? That’s okay. You’ll get there when you’re ready. .

If you’re looking for a therapist who creates a judgment-free space for honest conversations, you may call  (845) 202-9774 or complete the contact form. You don’t have to do this alone—therapy is here to help.