A Mile in Their Moccasins

You’ve probably heard the expression, “Don’t judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes.”

Well, that is not the way I learned it. My mother taught me, “Don’t judge a person until you have walked a mile in their moccasins”. 

I was 4 years old at the time. I remember asking about what moccasins were and then becoming obsessed with the variety of Native American tribal clothing. I also remember looking down at my shoes a lot and trying to imagine they were moccasins.

I always took that difference in the turn of phrase in passing. I now realize how impactful that difference of expression was for me. 

From preschool on, implicit in my mother’s advice to me was how empathy and identification of humanity might stretch beyond assumptions, experience, and understanding. It had to include a difference with not only thinking, but down to the very basics, the foundation - to my shoes.

Had my mother used the term “shoes” and not “moccasins,” would I have been as drawn as I have been in my life’s work to scripture’s concept that human beings are imitatio dei (“made in God’s image”)? Would I be so curious to learn about different cultures? Possibly yes. But, still, in fact, the implicit challenge of my mother’s charge was to seek the due respect and location of humanity in fellows I met, especially those who were different from me.  By the time I had my own child, I told her at 4 years old, "Differences can be interesting.” 

Now I have a greater appreciation for how deeply rooted my orientation is in welcoming a variety of people with different cultural backgrounds into my practice, and also for the importance of asking questions of my clients who are willing, so I can learn about the ways others navigate life. While I may not be familiar with a prospective client’s culture or background, I certainly am open to trying to understand and help that person heal, grow, and transform through psychotherapy. 

You are welcome to give me a call to discuss how we might work together despite our differences.