Boredom Is Good for You

When my daughter was a toddler, she sometimes approached me and said, “Mommy, I’m bored.” My answer? “Good!”

At the time, it felt a little nonconformist to say that. Most parents feel an instinct to rush in and fix things, including boredom.  We want to help our child fill the space with an activity, a toy, or a distraction. But actually–

boredom isn’t a problem that needs solving.  It can actually be a gift.

Over the years, both as a parent and as a therapist, I’ve come to see how important boredom can be for growth, healing, and creativity.

Why We Resist Boredom

We live in a culture that leaves little room for stillness. We carry tiny entertainment devices in our pockets, and at the first sign of quiet, most of us reach for our phones. Parents feel pressure to keep kids busy, signing them up for one activity after another. Adults, meanwhile, often treat rest or idleness as laziness, something to be ashamed of.

But underneath that urge to avoid boredom lies something deeper: discomfort.

Boredom makes us face ourselves. 

It exposes the quiet. For some, this understandably brings feelings of vulnerability. For others, it may stir up old memories of feeling or experiencing being empty, dismissed or unseen.

No wonder we rush to fill the gap.

The Hidden Benefits of Boredom

Would you be willing to give boredom a chance? Here are some of the ways boredom can actually help:

• Creativity blooms: Boredom nudges us to imagine, invent, or explore something new. Many great ideas start in moments of “nothing to do.”

• Resilience grows: Sitting with boredom helps us tolerate discomfort and learn patience.

• Reflection deepens: When distractions fade, we have space to hear our own thoughts and feelings.

• Self-discovery unfolds: Boredom often points us toward unmet needs or longings we might otherwise miss. And, this may yet lead us to seek to heal and better care for ourselves.

For more on how subtle, everyday experiences shape us, see my earlier blog on micro-traumas and Gen X.

For Children

Children who experience boredom learn how to engage their imagination. When we step back instead of rushing to entertain them, we give them the chance to invent games, daydream, or explore their own creativity. Overscheduled kids often miss such opportunities.

For Adults

As adults, boredom can open the door to insights we might otherwise overlook. Maybe boredom is a reminder to slow down, to listen to ourselves and we may discover feelings we’ve been pushing away.

In sessions, some clients find sitting with nothing but each other, in boredom—uncovers present day struggles and yearnings to feel safe with connections and relationships. Or, we come to realize that we can uncover rather than avoid something and discover deeper truths about what is important to us, what we are struggling with and need for healing to take place. 

When Boredom Feels Unbearable

Of course, not all boredom feels good. For some people, boredom stirs up SUCH painful echoes of neglect, loneliness, or being dismissed. That emptiness can be overwhelming, even frightening. If boredom feels unbearable, it may be symptomatic of something more central that even touches in our nervous system.

This is where therapy can help. Approaches like EMDR and parts work create space to process those early imprints so being in the hereness and nowness of each moment morphing into the next won’t be as threatening.  Thus, boredom may become less of a threat and more of an opportunity. Healing allows us to reclaim quiet moments as places of possibility, not danger.

Finding Freedom in the Quiet

The next time you—or your child—say, “I’m bored,” try pausing before rushing to fix it. Boredom is not a failure. It’s an opening. It can be the ground where imagination grows, resilience strengthens, and healing begins.

And if boredom feels like too much to handle alone, you don’t have to. Together in therapy, we can explore what arises in the quiet, and you can learn new ways to feel grounded and alive.

Call me at (845) 202-9774 or reach out through my secure contact form. You don’t have to figure it out by yourself.